Stage 2: Finding the One
Stage 2 of the Matching Process involves using healthy methods to search for a potential spouse. Follow the steps below to narrow down the search process and start healthy communication.
A) The Search Process
There are numerous ways to search for a potential match. The following options have worked well for many:
1. Matching Supporters – Certified supporters to support Matching candidates and their families through the matching process. Find a Matching Supporter anywhere in the USA.
2. Matching Websites – There are three profile-based online matching websites to meet different needs of candidates:
Matchbook – Website for Blessed Children
Online Matching System – Website for first-generation Unificationists and Blessed Children
International Matching Website – Website for Blessed Children interested in an international matching
3. Parents Matching Convocations – The PMC is an educational seminar where parents of candidates learn about the matching process, meet other parents of candidates, and network to consider potential matches. The PMC is a great opportunity to connect with other parents and consider possible candidates.
B) 21-Day Introduction Phase
Once you agree to consider a particular candidate, you should first decide whether you want to invest in building a relationship with them with the Blessing in mind. You can take the first 21 days to intentionally get to know them, and consider together if you will begin the communication and relationship-building phase. Consider this prayerfully, and avoid making impulsive or external decisions. But feel free to decide not to pursue the match if either or both candidates feel it is not right.
C) 25-Week Communication Phase
If the candidates agree to pursue their potential match, they will need to give each other enough time to know if it is right. A recommended framework is a minimum of seven months and a maximum of one year if the process has stalled. Generally, seven months is recommended for a couple to meet, develop an internal relationship and take ownership of their commitment as a couple. The time and process will depend on each family’s/candidate’s faith and the candidate’s trust in their parents/matching supporters. Candidates should have respect and have faith in God’s guidance through their parents/matching supporters, but know that they are free to say yes or no at any time during the process.
Candidates can use our Relationship Building Tools to strengthen their relationship.